Bad Habits
by Viva la Rasta
Summary: A series of one-shots based on Leah Clearwater's bad habits and how they affect Sam Uley in the long run.
1. Prologue

**Author's Note:** I kind of thought this little series of drabbles up while reading Eclipse all over again. I dunno, I guess I sort of feel for Leah, and being the naturally sympathetic person I am, I had to think of what _I_ would be like in her shoes. The rating is mostly for language, and some graphic details.

I don't own anything from Stephenie Meyer's books- Twilight, New Moon, or Eclipse.

* * *

**Prologue  
**_The Road to Temptation_

* * *

If there was one thing she was certain of, it was the fact she had changed since her innocent high school days. Gone was the Leah Clearwater that would come home straight from school and get started on her home work. Gone was the Leah Clearwater that helped her mother set the dinner table, and most definitely **gone** was the Leah Clearwater that would check the clock often after dinner, anxiously waiting for a phone call from Sam Uley.

She had traded her natural look for dark, seductive make up. Nowadays, one bat of an eyelash would send even the most polite of gentlemen in La Push (or anywhere, for that matter) over the edge in desire to reach out and touch her. Beautiful dresses, both traditional and casual, had been thrown out in the trash, and were replaced by several pairs of tight, low-rider jeans and revealing shirts, that showed off enough of her assets, and left very little to the imagination.

Sue Clearwater did not approve, but she didn't care, because everytime she looked in the mirror, Leah was satisfied with what she saw. She was beautiful- there was no denying it. In fact, many people from her reserve constantly doted on and complimented her because of it. Her hair wasn't black, but it was a dark enough brown that matched her skin and eye color flawlessly.

The residents of La Push blamed this sudden change on the lack of a father figure. She wouldn't deny that the loss had in fact played an important role, but there was something else- something more subtle, that few only knew.

The loss of her high school sweetheart to her cousin, Emily, had been the first nail in the heart. Her father dying had been the second, and now, this sudden twist of legend where _she_ was a part of something bigger in their tribe, had been the last and final. The biggest throw-back was that now, everyone in her 'pack' got to hear what she thought. Any sort of privacy was gone, and for this reason, Leah hated what she had become. It took days of rebellious anger for her to finally accept what she was, and especially _who_ she particularly shared this gift with.

Sam had been _so_ supportive those few days. It made her sick.

Eventually, it was her little brother Seth that had convinced her to embrace this sudden change, and now, Leah could admit she was a freak- rather, werewolf. Now, she would act the part of the perfect pack mate, listen to Sam's orders intently (as if the bastard hadn't broken her heart) and keep to the legend of her people. However, being one of _them_ had it's advantages- to the Quilette people, you were considered an adult, and even though Leah wasn't _technically _legal, she still liked to walk around their town as if she was.

Just let them try to deprive her.

* * *

"**Good habits result from resisting temptation."  
**- Ancient Proverb

* * *


	2. Smoking

**S m o k i n g**

* * *

She was on her fifth cigarette that night when she felt him.

His size betrayed his stealth, especially when his large feet stepped on the wet grass. He wasn't breathing quietly, so she knew he hadn't meant to surprise her. No, it had been a long time since he would creep up behind her, goofy grin in place, and make her jump from her relaxed position on the same grassy hill they would run off to, only to be together and stare up at the stars. The same grassy hill, in fact, that she was currently sitting on.

She was naked, and the feel of cool earth on her bare body contributed to her calmness. She didn't plan on having company, but she was certainly in no position to dismiss her visitor, when the spot was clearly equally important to him. Calmly, she took another drag.

"Hello, Sam."

Wordlessly, the alpha male of their pack walked forward, stopping to stand in front of her. His eyes raked over her body shamelessly, and she didn't mind this, because he had seen her exposed earlier that night, and even before, whenever they made love during their high school days. His gaze moved to the smoking object in her hand. "Leah, you know smoking will only hurt your body." He'd said, choosing then to sit next to her, far enough away to be deemed polite, yet close enough to feel the heat radiating off her lithe body.

At this, she laughed, an uncharacteristic like action, but she didn't care because the buzz from the nicotine was the only thing stopping her from lashing out at the man next to her. "And _you _know that I don't give a fuck about _anything_ that hurts me." Her eyes fixed pointedly to his, and she took another hit.

His face grew hard. "God damnit Leah!" Reaching over, he yanked the source of their conflict from her fingertips and threw it aside. "I've told you enough times than I can count that I'm sorry, but taking it out on yourself-"

"Jesus, all this over a cigarette?" Standing up, she brushed some of the grass off her backside, consciously aware that there was a pair of eyes following the trails her fingers made on her wet, glistening skin. "Besides," She started with a smirk, shooting him a sultry look over her shoulder, much similar to the ones she gave him while in the privacy of his or her bedroom, long ago. "I'm not taking it out on _myself_, now am I?" She walked away then, leaving only her scent behind to tease him. And as he listened to the sound of bones cracking, followed by the faint, yet femme howl, Sam knew that she was right.

She was doing more damage to _him_, than her own body.

* * *

**"Choose rather to be strong of soul than strong of body."  
**- Pythagoras

* * *


	3. Drinking

**D r i n k i n g**

* * *

Paul was always well-endowed whenever he decided to throw parties.

The only mistake was, however, he had trusted the people he had invited to drink responsibly. Now, true, there were some who stopped after several cups, and even still some who limited themselves to just getting tipsy. But not her, oh no, _never_ her.

Getting 'tipsy' was the equivalent of the short, temporary buzz she got from smoking. If she had wanted to feel that familiar hum, all she would have to do was step outside, and light up. However, Paul's two-bedroom house was a lot warmer and more comfortable than porch swing outside, so she decided to stay and drink. And drink. And drink, until her feet felt as if they were absorbing rest after being walked on all day.

Her vision was blurry, and she had already stripped down to her underwear, commanding the attention of every single male in the house, including her cousin's boyfriend, fiancé, or whatever the hell he was to her nowadays. He especially kept his eye on her whenever she was undressed, or scantily clad, and she kept this knowledge to herself, knowing that if she were to call him out on it, he would stop staring.

She liked it when he watched her through an indifferent façade, only because she was the only one who could see through it.

Her sexuality was something she had discovered long ago, but only recently indulged in. So, with a practiced move, she clung to the host of the party, and rubbed against him in rhythm to the soft music playing in the background. You see, Paul had expressed interest in her since middle school, so there was no way she would be rejected, and she wasn't above taking advantage of people's feelings. The loss of her lover and death of her father had only molded her mindset into what it was today.

As her lips, tongue, and teeth clashed with his violently, her dark brown eyes shot over to the familiar face, who- like always –watched with a mixture of disgust and hurt on his face. Relishing in her defeat, she would always break away, and stumble out of the room, and out into the night air. As she swayed off the porch, she would close her eyes, and allow the shape of the wolf take over, and before she knew what she was doing, she was free- basking in the moonlight as it hit her back.

She had killed twenty seven deer, forty three rabbits, and eighteen raccoons just for the hell of it. She had been a gory mess when her pack found her, surrounded by the many corpses that no doubt made it easier to track her. Lying on her back in her human form, once again naked, reeking of alcohol and animal carcasses, she smiled- a serene smile that illuminates under the moon. The pack's thoughts were scattered, but she could make them out clearly.

_Oh, sis…_

_Jesus, those animals didn't stand a chance!_

_Stupid bitch- just up and leaves me with blue balls, only to go on some kind of killing spree._

_Temptress. _

_She's sick… real sick. _

Her smile widened as the others spoke, and writhing her body, she smeared herself into the pool of blood surrounding her. The maroon liquid made her copper skin look incredibly sensual.

_Leah…_

She would then lock eyes with the pack leader, a big black wolf who still managed to look disappointed, despite his current state of form. Shrugging, as she always did, the only female in the pack would let out a giggle. "What?" Innocence was something she had long lost, but it was portrayed beautifully in her light, naïve voice. "I was hungry." And then she would pass out, only to wake up the next morning, clean and safely tucked in the warmth of her bed.

True, at times she wondered which of her pack mates had actually carried her, bathed her, and made sure she slept comfortably, but deep down in her heart, she knew _exactly_ who would pick her up, dismiss the rest of the pack, and walk- not run –with her home. Because even in her unconscious state, those strong arms and that hard chest she was pressed against were achingly familiar, and even though she hated herself for it, she very much enjoyed the feel of them.

Getting drunk most definitely had it's benefits.

* * *

**"Bacchus hath drowned more men than Neptune."  
**- Dr. Thomas Fuller

* * *


	4. Cussing

**C u s s i n g**

* * *

_Shit! _

The smaller gray wolf stopped suddenly, lifting up it's paw to find a piece of glass stuck in the pads of it's feet. A broken beer bottle lay a couple yards away, the remnants of the amber liquid twinkling in the moonlight. The remainder of the pack stopped, a few feet ahead, curiously looking back at the strangler to see why it had stopped.

_What's the matter, Leah?_

The large black wolf who served as the pack leader asked, moving around the bodies of fur to stand several inches away from the gray wolf, eyes fixed onto her bleeding foot.

_Fucking piece of glass… assholes don't know how to throw their shit away. _

Her profanity was not something new to the group, but the colorful words coming from her sweet mouth always made them wince. They had all been taught at a very young age that cussing was very unbecoming, but they still did it anyway. None of them, however, had a fouler mouth than she did.

_Do you need any help? _

_No, thanks. I'm a big girl, I can get it my god damn self. _

One of the younger wolves twitched, and his patience wasn't as controlled as Sam's was.

_Jesus, Leah! Will you stop with the cussing? I told you that one of the leeches we're going to meet will be able to read our minds! How serious do you think he'll take us if we have a bitter harpy using profanity in every sentence?_

_Fuck you, Jacob. I'll do whatever the fuck I want-_

_**Enough! **_

Once again, the leader stepped in between their only female member and the one he left second-in-command. In Leah's defense, there really was no rule against swearing, but Jake was right- they were going to meet the Cullens, and if Bella Swan's bloodsucker could get in their heads, they would look incredibly vulnerable with all the bitterness and fighting going on, and Sam wouldn't have that. Besides, it got unbelievably old.

_Jacob's right, Leah. There's no need to swear that much- especially in front of the Cold Ones. We have a lot more important issues to worry about here._

The gray wolf smirked, or attempted to, because it came out as a wicked, toothy grin that looked purely malicious. Yes, there were a lot more important issues- Sam had that part right. Turning to one of the younger wolves, Leah's grin only broadened.

_Issues. Right. Speaking of which, Embry, have you found out who your __**real**__ father is?_

It was a delicate subject, and the wolf named Embry visibly paled, while the rest of the pack watched through narrowed eyes as the gray one yanked the piece of glass out of her foot with her sharp teeth. Spitting it aside, she licked the blood off the damaged paw until it had healed, and then proceeded to stand back in line.

And as they ran to meet up with the vampires whom would be teaching them how to handle newborns, thoughts about the possible fathers for Embry flooded through the wolves' brains. However, one pack member allowed her own thoughts to distract her, as she silently congratulated herself for hitting them all below the belt.

_I love being a bitch. _

* * *

**"There are worse words than cuss words; There are words that hurt."  
**- Tillie Olsen

* * *


	5. Cutting

* * *

**C u t t i n g**

* * *

She had discovered another use for scissors her senior year, shortly after she had been dumped. Granted, markers and crayons were normally used for drawing, but she found out that the blades worked just as effectively, especially on her soft skin. She had grown very fond of shapes in the beginning, until finally, she found enough beauty in one straight line, mostly because the trail of red liquid it made was fascinating.

It became a routine thing for her- go to school, come home, cut, smoke, and cut until her arm, legs, or wherever she tainted herself, became numb. Then, after a few weeks of this routine, something terrible happened.

She couldn't feel the pain.

The stupid transformation made her body almost indestructible. Her little wimpy lines weren't giving her that same sensation, and so, she had dug deeper. And deeper, and deeper, until Seth walked in the bathroom, and she cussed out loud for not remembering to lock the door. She'd ignore his stupid, pleading eyes and soft cries of "Leah…" and continued to dig deeper into her arm. By then, her brother had bolted, and she knew exactly where he was going. Now everybody would know the _real_ reasons behind all of her scars- she could no longer blame it on hunting.

Not five minutes later did a furious looking Sam Uley burst through the bathroom door, nostrils flared and eyes narrowed. "Stop it right now, Leah." He demanded, and she looked up through a narrowed gaze of her own. Her answer was simple, nonchalant as she stood up and pushed past him, heading for the kitchen.

"No."

She didn't look back to see him close his eyes and inhale sharply. It had been a long time she cared about him or his demands. Call it disrespect, but she just didn't give a damn anymore.

When the scissors she had been previously holding plopped onto the counter, he seemed to visibly relax. Turning to her, Sam sighed, opening his eyes to reveal a pained, guilty expression. He knew better than to ask for an explanation, but Seth's frantic description of what he'd caught his sister doing bewildered and bothered him like nothing before. "Why?"

She'd snorted then, rolling her eyes while opening one of the many kitchen drawers. "Why not?" But before he could give her a list of reasons, she had pulled out a long, thick steak knife, and was examining it curiously. It certainly looked sharp enough… sturdy enough…

"Leah, don't-!"

But it was too late, and she plunged the metal into her arm, only half-way to the hilt. She didn't scream or cry, instead, she let the feel of the blade numb her as she raked it down her skin, making a long, shiny red line. She let out a soft sigh, marveling in the feel of pain that was slowly engulfing her. It had been a long time since she felt such relief.

Before she knew what had happened, the knife was pulled out of her skin, and thrown into the sink. Sam, in all his alpha glory, stood with his back to her, clenching the counter (there would be a mark there once he let go), blocking her from the knives drawer. He was shaking, she noted with perverse satisfaction, and this knowledge sparred her the effort of trying to pick up the now-bloody knife from the sink and try again. He then turned to face her, and she saw something glisten in the light emanating from her kitchen windows. She snorted once more.

"You fucking pansy! Are you really crying?" How ridiculous. _She _had been the one that cut herself, and here he was, the only one who seemed to be upset by it.

His next move surprised her, for in a matter of seconds, she was engulfed in a bone-crushing hug. His scent was warm and familiar, and she welcomed it for a minute. It had been so long since he reached out to her, and being in his arms once more felt so… nice. As if _she_ was the one who belonged there. But no, she never would, because it was his destiny, his _fate_ to be with another.

She had pushed him off her then, shifting her serene daze into a look of pure hatred- but she could never hate him, not even if she tried. "Don't you fucking touch me _ever_ again." Her voice betrayed her, for it was strained, and he seemed to notice this too. Taking a step backwards, she narrowed her eyes as Sam opened his mouth to speak.

"Don't…" He seemed to be having difficulty with the words, but finally managed to look up at her and spit them out. "Don't do this to yourself. Your body is far too beautiful to be marred by ugly scars." _Hypocrite_, she wanted to spit at him, for the 'love of his life' was nothing but a face full of scars. With that in mind, she smirked, realizing that perhaps she was somewhat better off. _Her_ face was still flawlessly untouched.

She had to get out of there; He couldn't see her _care_.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Listen," She then began to undress, not bothering with decency. If he thought her body was beautiful, good. He'd be seeing all of it in a matter of seconds. "I'm going out for a run. Mom gets off work in about thirty minutes. Why don't you do both of us a favor, and wash that," She had then pointed to the knife. "off. Okay? Okay." With that, she turned, smirking once more as she caught a glimpse of her pack leader. She shifted into her wolf form, and took off for the woods, noting that her cut had already healed.

Speechless, Sam walked over to the sink and cleaned the knife as if he'd washed blood out of silverware for a living. Once he was finished up, he caught his reflection in the oven's glass door, only to find a spot where Leah's blood shone proudly on his shirt, no doubt from where he had pressed her into his body. Running his finger over the now-dry patch, he realized with a sad smile that the small stain had a large significance.

It would be the only kind of imprint the two of them would share together, ever.

* * *

**"You should see my scars, and try to comprehend that which you'll never comprehend..."  
- **_Bleed Like Me_, Garbage

* * *


	6. Popping

* * *

**P o p p i n g**

* * *

She was sure she had over-dosed.

The pills were so pretty though- all different colors. It reminded her of the times she used to go with her dad to the local candy store, whenever she got an 'A' on her report card. The different flavors and shapes had always excited her, and she supposed even now, the same principle applied. Only this wasn't candy, and the effects were a lot more dangerous. And yet, she popped them into her mouth like skittles.

At first she felt nothing, and so she started to walk to First Beach, where the pack was having an exclusive meeting, regarding the coming of the newborn vampires they were helping the Cullen family dispose of. She was almost half way there, when she felt the effects of the prescription drugs slam into her full force.

It felt as if the wind had been knocked out of her, and yet, it was such a wonderful feeling and she embraced it with open arms- literally. Her legs felt like jelly, and she fell to her knees almost instantly. It was as if everything had taken a brighter turn, and nothing seemed to matter. She felt invincible, incredible, and most of all, happy. For the first time in a _long _time, she was unbelievably happy.

The smile never left her lips as she hit the dirt road face down, pebbles, grass and grime smearing her clothes and skin. She let out a relieved sigh, before closing her eyes and embracing the colorful promises these feelings instilled in her head.

Two days later she woke up at the reservation's only hospital.

She felt incredibly weak, and her throat hurt, but that didn't matter. She was disappointed, because she no longer felt so happy and relieved. In those two days time, she shifted back into reality, and that was truly upsetting.

When she managed to glance around the room, she noticed that she wasn't alone. Her small room seemed to be full of people. Her mom, Seth, Billy Black, Jacob, Paul, Jared, they were all there. Including their pack leader, who stared at her with a look of relief and wariness as he visibly let out the breath he had been holding in.

Instantly, she had been bombarded with hugs and kisses from her mother, and even Seth took her hand and stroked it while she was under attack.

"My baby! My poor baby! I thought I had lost you…" Suddenly, the wolf in Sue Clearwater came out, as her face went from relieved to furious. Drawing her hand back, the older woman slapped her daughter across the face, hard, yet not hard enough to leave a mark, since Leah was more durable than she. No doubt Sue's hand would be throbbing in the morning. The visitors in the room watched in masked horror at the scene before them. Seth winced as his sister involuntarily squeezed his hand tighter.

"Pills, Leah? Pills? I've raised you better than that! How dare you put your life in jeopardy, and embarrass this family by doing drugs!" By now, her mother was crying, both from her own words and from the realization of what she had just done.

She couldn't help but roll her eyes at her mother's hysterics. By now, the pack had shuffled past the distraught woman, only to hug and welcome back their female member, before shuffling out of the room. Billy Black had taken Sue out of the room, and Seth had followed Collin and Brady to the snack machines. That left only one person; The same person who, in fact, had picked her up from the dirt road, and carried her to the hospital, as she would come to find out later on. Figures, he'd always be the fucking hero in her life. Why couldn't someone like Jacob or Paul step up and take charge. Why'd it always have to be _him_?

"I thought you were…" Sam closed his eyes for a moment, and took a deep breath. Moving forward, his eyes held the same kind of sparkle they had, back when he was in high school, hopelessly in love with the dark-haired, doe-eyed Leah Clearwater. This, in fact startled her, and she was almost afraid to hear his next words.

"I thought I had lost you."

She turned her head, burning tears leaving a wet trail down her face as she choked back a sob. How she longed to throw herself into his arms, let him comfort her, like she knew he was capable of doing. But that was too risky, and the close proximity would be too tempting, and she was a victim to any kind of temptation. Wiping her eyes, she turned to face him, a whole new level of sadness enveloping her system.

"You can't lose something you don't have in the first place."

And she knew those words stung, but she was defending herself, and this was the best way she knew how. This man had taken everything from her- her heart, her sanity, and now he was going for her pride! Couldn't he just leave her the hell alone?

She watched, mollified, as he still approached her, stopping only a touching distance away. Bending down, so his face was even with hers, he stared into her eyes for a minute, before placing a chaste kiss on her forehead. "No," He replied softly, agreeing with her statement. "But you can miss it all the same." With that, he kissed her forehead once more, and walked out of the now-empty room.

She stared at his retreating figure, both mad at herself for crying in front of him- something she promised herself she'd never do –and for the way she _allowed _him to get that close. And _kiss_ her, none the less. Grabbing the vase that stood next to her on the bedside table, she hurled it at the closed door in her frustration. Damn him! Damn him and his smell, and the way he made her _feel_.

Throwing her body dramatically back against the hospital bed, she sighed and closed her eyes. Maybe she was still on her little trip, and it would all go away once she woke up.

_As if. _

* * *

**"I haven't moved from the spot where you left me; This must be a bad trip."  
**_- Just Like a Pill_, Pink

* * *


	7. Fornicating

* * *

**F o r n i c a t i n g**

* * *

**for·ni·ca·tion** (fawr-ni-**key**-sh_uh_n: _noun_)  
voluntary sexual intercourse between two unmarried persons or two persons not married to each other.

* * *

She believes it's the smell that gets her.

Once upon a time ago, when she could smile and laugh, and hold hands with the popular Sam Uley, Leah used to notice little things about her boyfriend. The way the front of his hair forever donned a cowlick, how he would absently rub his thumb against her palm, whenever his mind was elsewhere, but most importantly, she remembered his smell.

God, she would never forget it.

It's musky, kind of. Musky with a little hint of cinnamon- the perfect little spice that would describe Sam flawlessly. Masculine, with a soft touch of something eye-opening. She fell in love then, not only with him, but with his scent, whenever it would engulf her body during their love-making, or whenever he would wrap his large arms around her, promising a future, in addition to comforting warmth.

It's not the same now, she realizes, whenever they meet up or go on patrols. There's no warmth to the smell, or promises for a non-existent future. He's plain as day, and yet, she wants him _so badly_ to smell the same. But he doesn't, so she settles for second best.

Embry Call will never be anything more than a good fuck.

Out of all the pack members, he is the only one that has yet to imprint, and once they get past the fact she's a bitch for bringing up his possible fathers, and he's a little pansy for getting all huffy about it, they screw. And screw, and screw, until their legs give out, and both are gasping for air.

Normally, the guys she has meaningless sex with never get a phone call, email, or even the time of day. Embry, however, is different. Granted, he's handsome, pretty good in bed, but there's something more subtle about him that Leah clings to… his scent. He smells of sandalwood, with a faint hint of cinnamon. It's the cinnamon that gets to her.

He's very vocal during sex- reminding her of how _hot _she is, or how _fucking tight_ she feels. She can't do anything close her eyes and moan then, knowing later that when he's gone, she'll sit up and laugh because he thinks it's his dirty talk that turns her on. He's too naïve to know that's he's being used, for his smell, but she prefers it that way- nobody else needs to know that she still hasn't gotten over her high school sweetheart.

She manages to land a patrol one night with Sam, and while they scope the area in their wolf forms, memories are exchanged and thoughts are replayed over and over in each of their heads. Leah is pleased to see that her alpha and Emily have not been 'getting busy' at all, and is even more happy to _show_ him that is certainly not the case for her. When he sees her and Embry go at it, there's a slight streak of jealousy, followed by a calm, yet stormy rage.

_This proves nothing, Leah. _

He thinks, knowing that she'll be able to hear the thought. The nails on his paws dig into the ground ever so roughly.

_I don't know what you're talking about, Sam. I love him! _

It's sarcasm that leaks through her pretty voice, dripping like venom in mockery of those powerful three words. She doesn't love Embry, nor will she ever. He's just a tool, a replacement- the life-size Barbie to a pubescent twelve year old boy.

She thinks about the nights with Embry hard enough for Sam to sink in her place. And once he does, he can feel, taste, and even comprehend her reasons for doing this. He removes himself from her memoirs, and had he been in human form, a coy smirk would have been visible on his thin lips, because even though he's modest, there's nothing he enjoys more than knowing Leah still pines for him. Still moans, aches, and pleads for him. It's sadistic, but she has always managed to bring out the greedy side of him.

_You don't come as fast with him, as you did with me. _

_Oh, fuck you, Sam! That's real-_

But he silences her with a flashback of back when they were together, happier times. It's Halloween, and he skips to the part where their 'helping' each other take off their costumes. The smell of his musk and cinnamon fills the room. She can practically feel his large, warm hands sliding off the straps of her slutty French maid outfit, and feel his kisses as they trailed down her body, over her breasts, beyond her flat stomach, and up again to her mouth. He skips a little further, past the intense making out, and onto the part where he's leaning over her body, telling her that he loves her, before entering her in a swift motion.

Her cry of ecstasy in the memory comes out as a loud howl, and she involuntarily phases, quivering, naked, in her human form. He follows suit shortly after her, and she notices he is just as aroused as he is, for the member sticking up in the air proudly seems to be pulsing with blood.

"Leah, I'm sorry. That was pretty low of me. I-"

It's her turn to silence him, and she does so with a hand up. "No." She insists, resisting the urge to touch herself right then and there, in front of him. "I… I needed it." Her voice is shaky, and she realizes she needs to either call Embry, or get home and let her fingers ease the tension. She decides on the latter, and straightens herself up a bit.

"Well, I've really got to be going." She insists, very aware of the way his eyes are hungrily clinging to every curve on her body. "We should really…" Do this again sometime. "… try not to think about this too much." The less people know about our sexual tension, the better.

Sam nodded then, watching her beautiful figure retreat back into the woods. Once he was sure she was out of sight, he sank down onto the ground, his back pressing against the trunk of a large oak tree. His hand found his erection, and he spent the rest of the night thinking about having sex with Leah, even after he was spent, and on his way home to his loving fiancé.

* * *

"**Mortal lovers must not try to remain at the first step; for lasting passion is the dream of a harlot and from it we wake in despair."  
**- C.S Lewis

* * *


	8. Quitting

* * *

**Q u i t t i n g**

* * *

The minute Jake had cut himself off from the pack, Leah knew chaos would ensue. In fact, she debated on phasing back into her human form, just so she could avoid listening to all the voices in her head. However, she chose to stick it out, and the scrambling ensued.

_What the hell?_

_Sam, what's happening? _

_He betrayed us!_

_How did he do that?_

_I can't hear him anymore! _

_What's going on?_

_Why would he do this?_

She managed to glance over at her brother, the only voice she didn't hear in the jumble of thoughts. By just focusing on him, she was able to tell he was weighing his options, and his paws looked like they were itching to follow Jacob. It was then he made eye contact with her, and he looked sad… as if he was pleading.

She nodded, and Seth's cord tying him to the pack had been cut.

_Clearwater?_

_Not him too! _

_Now what? _

_A pack full of traitors! _

_We need to go after them! _

_Leah?_

She had looked up then, realizing that all eyes were on her, as if expecting her to follow after Seth. The way they looked at her could only be described as anticipation- like they were almost _expecting_ her to follow after the both of them. Sticking her nose up in the air, as if telling them all they could kiss her ass, she looked pointedly at Sam.

_Yeah?_

_Alright then, we all need to split up and patrol the area. Jared, you take Collin and Brady along the treaty line. Paul, take Quil and Embry with you to circle the reservation. Leah, you'll come with me over the line and-_

_I need to tell my mom what's happening, first. _

_No, that's really not necessary. We have no time to lose, and-_

_And nothing, Sam. If Seth doesn't come home tonight, you better believe mom will be in a fit, beat me, and then come after you. So, I suggest you let me go home first, before you start barking orders._

Sam visibly flinched, and it was mirrored by the other members of the pack. Nobody was ignorant to Sue Clearwater's fury, especially when it came to her children.

_Fine. Ten minutes, and then you come straight to First Beach, is this understood?_

_Yes. _

And she took off, consciously aware of the eyes that followed her warily, waiting for her to change direction and instead go after her brother and Jacob. Leah couldn't help but roll her eyes- the pack always did have little to no faith in her. When they were certain she was heading straight toward the Clearwater residence, they all went back to splitting up.

Leah had phased once she reached the front porch, grabbing the dress she had left out for times like these, and throwing it on. When she walked in the house, Sue was sitting at the kitchen table, enjoying a cup of coffee with Billy Black. They both smiled at her when she came into the kitchen, and then frowned once they realized she brought no good news. "Leah? What is it? Is it Seth?" Her mother asked, her powerful maternal instinct never ceasing to amaze.

She nodded hesitantly, and then began to tell them both the story. For a second, she could have sworn she saw Billy's chest puff up in pride, before his brow creased and he looked steadily back down at the table. Apparently, he too believed his son should have stepped up, and been Alpha.

"Well? What are you waiting for?" Her mother cut into her thoughts, shrugging and taking a sip of coffee, as if what Leah had just told them was not important. Staring straight into her daughter's eyes, Sue nodded toward the door.

"You know what you have to do."

She was right- damn, why didn't she just follow them in the first place? Not having to hear the pack all the time, not having to worry about them hearing some of her thoughts? It was perfect- the perfect way to get away. And Seth had now given her another reason, a justifiable one.

God, she loved that kid.

Without another word, Leah turned to storm out the front door. Throwing off her dress, she smiled, a real smile, at the promising future ahead of her. "I love you mom." She called, knowing the older woman would hear it. Without another word, she phased back into the world of chaos.

_Finally! _

_Jeez, ten minutes my ass. Take a whole coffee break, why don't ya?_

_At least she didn't run away._

_Too bad, though._

Leah growled then, letting Paul know that she didn't want to be here any more than he wanted her to. All it took was a brisk jog, and she was already at First Beach, facing the large black wolf that sat, waiting for her. This was going to be tougher than she thought.

_Leah. Is everything alright?_

No, everything was not fucking alright! Her brother had gone into leech land, her mother seemed to know what was best for her before she even knew herself, and now, her mind was flooding with possibilities and ways for her to leave. What could she possibly say to soften the blow? It wouldn't be easy, but her mother was right- she knew what she had to do.

_No… Leah. Tell me you're not-_

_Actually, Sam, I think I am._

At her words, the entire pack started thinking in scrambled phrases.

_I knew it!_

_Just like her brother! _

_Must run in the family._

_Don't let her go! _

_Quick, somebody pin her down!_

_SILENCE!_

Almost instantly, everyone obeyed. They all tried their best to stop thinking, or at least tone down a bit. Sam's booming voice rang out through all of their heads, and Leah felt smug for minute, because he was giving her the room to speak, per se.

_Leah… I… why?_

_Why Sam? Why do you think? Ever since I joined this pack, all it's brought me is grief. Grief, pain, and heartache… something you should never have to go through twice. I'm sick and tired as being viewed as the bitter one, when really, it's just you that's made me this way, and you know it._

_Leah… don't-_

_Don't what? Do this? You know what Sam, fuck you, okay? I gave up everything to be with you. I loved… love you, and that still wasn't… isn't enough. __**I**__ wasn't enough. This whole thing… being a werewolf, having everyone listen to your thoughts? You think I __**wanted**__ everyone to know how much I really care for you? No- it's fucking embarrassing, and now, I don't have to put up with it anymore. _

_It doesn't have to be like this! Just, please Leah, don't quit on me now. Phase back and we'll talk about this. _

_No Sam, I'm done talking. I'm not yours to boss around anymore. I won't give you the sick satisfaction of still having me around, when you know you don't even deserve to kiss the ground I walk on. I'm not yours… not anymore, and I can finally say that and mean it. I... I am quitting. For good. Goodbye, Sam. _

_Leah, wait-! _

She felt her connection with the pack snap, and sizzle. The adrenaline she had got from her new freedom, busted up through her body, and she increased her speed by a generous amount. Her wolf form was smiling as she tore past tree, after tree. She could almost see the shocked expressions on the others' faces, and this caused her to pick up the pace even more. Nothing she had ever felt before compared to the moment she told Sam goodbye, finally breaking the tie that kept him and her connected throughout the years.

Quitting was the best thing Leah Clearwater had ever done for herself.

* * *

"**Of all the stratagems, to know when to quit is the best."**

- Chinese Proverb

* * *

**THE E N D **

* * *

**Author's Note: **Okay, so, that's the end. I want to thank everyone who reviewed this story- you guys really were the ones that kept it going. This is the first series I've finished, and I tried to keep Leah and the others in characters, as well as kind of follow the story line a bit.

I didn't really like the way the last book ended… for Leah, at least. I've grown to like her character even more after reading _Breaking Dawn_, so you'll probably see a lot more of my fanfictions with her in them. Once again, thanks so much for reading!

- Geraldine


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